She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
