i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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