WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
