sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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