So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
