Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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