I'm drive I can fine osifer
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
