I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
