remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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