Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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