Kiss
Puke
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
