Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am mentally ready for anal.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize