remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
