Apparently you make a good broom.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
