If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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