Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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