Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
