thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
