Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
