I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
accomplished twins. life is a go
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize