I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
