you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
