I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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