do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
