You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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