remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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