Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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