Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
