Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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