If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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