Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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