My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are the jesus of drinking
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
