ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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