Porn is love you can see.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
