I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
