I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize
