we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
