I need help removing her.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
