in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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