I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
