i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
