I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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