The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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