She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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