What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
