Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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