he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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