Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
