Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
