that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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