I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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