do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
