I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize