I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
