I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
