Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
