I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
