all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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