Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize