Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize