i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
only you would photoshop your dick
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
