guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
