think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
