I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
