look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize